Human beings love to learn. But sometimes when we go all-out to develop new skills and then practise them perfectly – according to a set of rules – we can end up getting in our own way. Our intense striving to ‘do’ it right can become counterproductive. I believe this can be the biggest obstacle to masterful coaching.

I remember my coaching early days being like this. I tried so hard to DO all the ‘steps’ I’d learnt in training – contracting thoroughly, asking powerful questions, and so on – that sometimes I wasn’t paying enough attention to the most important thing in the room: my client! The striving for perfection was preventing me from accessing the coaching X factor: relaxed, at-ease presence. I was forgetting to BE a coach.

I believe that ‘Coaching Presence’ is the ‘mother’ of all the core coaching competencies. Get this ‘right’, and everything else falls into place. It creates the conditions for our brains (and bodies) to function at their best. Then our best listening, questions, and interventions naturally arise in the moment. We don’t have to ‘manufacture’ them.

The good news is that deep presence is a trainable skill. And the most effective training is ‘mindfulness’ – or the art of skilful awareness, where we train our powers of attention and presence, through meditation and other simple exercises, particularly by noticing what’s happening in the body. Clinical research has proven the positive benefits of mindfulness for wellbeing, resilience and clarity of thought.

Try this right now: Pause a moment, close your eyes, and simply notice the feeling of your body in contact with your chair and your feet on the floor. Tune in to your whole body. Notice a few breaths, and simply rest in space for a while. When you ‘come back’, notice if there are any changes to your mind-state…

By giving yourself this kind of attention, you can consciously make the shift from ‘doing’ to ‘being’ mode. This can dramatically increase your ability to attend to others, and to ‘tune in’ to what’s really going on for them. It also allows you to let go of excessive striving to make something wonderful happen for your coaching clients. It doesn’t mean you stop caring about them. It’s the very opposite – you make yourself fully available for them with all of your mind, body and heart – offering them exquisite presence, calm and sensitivity. You stop ‘Doing’ coaching, and you allow your coaching ‘Being’ to take over. By doing so, you create the best conditions for your clients to uncover deep insights and lasting transformation.

Tim Segaller is a PCC Coach and Mindfulness Trainer. He teaches coaches how to use mindfulness techniques to enhance their coaching practice. His ICF credentialed programmes – carrying 22 CCEUs and taking place over six two-hour weekly sessions – run throughout the year. Click here to find out more and to book.